The Secret About Your Parents | Alzheimer’s in the First Person | Barbara Taylor Vaughan
OK buddies, I want to talk about something. Alot of you nice people that read my stories are youngsters, 40 to 60 year olds. Alot of your parents are still alive and may either live in your city or away. I want to tell you all a secret. When you talk to your parents on the phone and say, “Hi mom (or dad), how are you?” And they always answer, “Fine, just fine.” When you say to them, “Are you keeping busy, getting out doing things?” And they answer, “Oh yes, I have plenty to keep me busy.” When you ask them, “Are you lonely? And they answer, “Oh no, I have friends, I’m fine.” When you say to them, “I wish we could visit but we are just so busy,” and they answer, “Oh I know, don’t worry about me, you have your life. Don’t worry about me.” I want to tell you a secret: Your parents are not telling you the whole truth.
They do get very lonely, they do need help sometimes, they do want to see you. They are your parents, and if you are parents, you know that you never want to hurt your children, or want them to be put out. Us seniors want to be on our own, we want to be independent, but hecky, we miss you. SO, here is my advice, before it is too late, and just because it would be wonderful for you to do, try and see them more. If they dont live in town, go visit them, if you can’t take the whole family, YOU go visit your parents for a few days. Oh how they would love that special visit.
If you can, bring them to your house for a week, let them visit you. If you live close by, make the decision today to take them out for lunch, bring them to your house for dinner, go to the mall with them, to the show. I am sure they would love to see your whole family, but sometimes, remember back to when you were a child, there is nothing like just you and your parent doing something together, just you two.
We want our children to have their life, but we also want to be a part of it. We just don’t want you to feel guilty, so we will never tell you that we are lonely, or that we want you to visit us more often, or that we really would like to come visit you. Please, make the time, yes everyone is busy, and not all of us get along with all of our family members, but do it for you, do it for your children, do it for your parents.
Life is short, and I promise you, it might be difficult and you might think that you can’t do it, but I can tell you, you won’t regret it. It might make you remember that your old mom and dad, they were the ones that loved you first, and the most. No one, no one, loved or loves you more than they did and do. SO, be the one that love them the most in their last days, and tell them, before it’s too late. It is so sad seeing you youngsters at funerals crying, sad, and feeling guilty and telling me you wish you had done or tried to do more, but didn’t. SO do it!