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My Life in Little Envelopes

Illustration by Billy Alexander
Illustration by Billy Alexander

The last few days I have been having Missy write notes for me, I can’t write very well any longer. I can type but my writing isn’t pretty. I tell her what to write, then I sign the note and we put them in an envelope and I tell her what name to put on the envelope. Sometimes I put something in the envelope, a little bracelet I made, a handkerchief..something that I think they will like.

These little notes are for when I die. I want Missy to give or send them to these people. I want them to remember me in a little way, with a little note. All I have left are little things…I am not rich. I have no big diamonds or lots of property. These little envelopes are just little goodbyes from me.

I feel like I don’t have lots of time to do this so I try and do 3 or 4 a day, I have a long list.

I remember a year ago one of my best friends died, and I felt so sad so lost for a few weeks. She was my buddy. We would talk on the phone 5 or 6 times a day, and would meet for lunch once a week. We had worked together for over 40 years. She was a part of me. A few weeks after she died I got a box in the mail. It was from her. Her daughter had found it when she was going through all of her things after she died.

In the box were little things, little things that made me so happy. There was a menu from our last lunch together, a Christmas card I had sent her, a picture of us together, a coupon for Depends, some stamps…Just all kinds of little things that to someone else would mean nothing, but to us it was a box of our friendship. She knew I would laugh when I opened it and went through it. She knew I would need a laugh. She knew it would be a sign from her to keep going. She knew it would make me smile and be happy again.

So I make Missy write my little notes. I have her put little nothings in the envelopes. It is my way of telling my buddies to keep on, to keep smiling, to remember. Lately remember is a big and important word to me…remember. Really, what is our life but remembrances and memories with friends and family?

Lovely, lovely little memories, and remembrances…my life in little envelopes.

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