This morning I woke up to my mother singing. She was like a child, still in her crib, waiting for their parents to get them up in the morning, she was entertaining herself by singing and talking to herself. I came in the room and she looked at me and smiled and lifted her arms up to me to get her out of bed, to start her day. She said, “Hello sunshine, I love you, I am so happy.”

It didn’t matter how terrible I felt, after being up all night with terrible MS spasms and pain…now seeing her so happy, especially to see me. And then she said, “Oh I love Mondays, today is Monday. Mikey is home all day long.  Oh boy, oh boy.”

I can not explain in words the love I have for my mother, the joy she brings to my life everyday…all the bad days of her Alzheimer’s…all my pain in caring for her on days I can’t care for myself…wiped all away by just a “Hello Sunshine.” It’s going to be a good week. Thank you GOD.  Thank you for our miracle. Read more…

Standing in the middle of the nurse’s station, I faxed a chart to Spring Harbor for our psych patient in room 11 and I watched the patient in room 3. Her twisted body was lying on the stretcher in a semi-sitting position. She was covered in a blanket and her feet were hanging out, uncovered. I chuckled to myself because that is how I lay as well—I hate my feet covered! She was talking to her husband. He was gently rubbing her crooked hand…they noticed me watching and both smiled at me, so I smiled back.

I finished faxing the chart and then went into room 3. “So how ya doin in here?” I asked her.
“Just fine.” She answered with a smile.
“Can I get you anything, or reposition you?”
“I would like to be turned.”

I grabbed our tech Paula to help me and we gently turned and repositioned her to the left side, propping pillows behind her and under her legs and between her knees. I gave her a back rub, applied some lotion and covered her with a warm blanket. She thanked us and then said “I’m so sorry to make so much work for you girls.”

“Please don’t say that…it is our pleasure to help you.” I answered with a smile, and I meant it. Read more…

This is the first installment of a blog by Brandi Chase called Lymphoblaster. It is an online chronicle through Leukemia. Living in Australia with her husband, film composer Randin Graves, Brandi, grieving the loss of her father 2 months prior, began to feel ill. On a trip home to Utah in the United States to visit family, she went to a hospital to see if she might be anemic. She learned instead that she had cancer. Brandi was admitted the same day. In this video to her family and friends, she talks about how it all began. Sometimes tragic, but always life-affirming, Brandi’s shares candidly her experiences. Filled with a sense of grace and humor throughout, she inspires. You can find new installments here each week.

Read more…

Missy took me to the doctor today, they did all kinds of tests, and I have to go back next week for one more. They found out that I am having seizures. Oh boy, if it isn’t one thing its something else. I feel fine and dandy, but they want to make sure it is not something serious. I told them I have things to do.

When they told Missy is was having seizures I saw the look of pain in her eyes. I know that it was her that nursed me back from my brain surgery over 25 years ago, she is the one who had to see all my seizures then, she taught me how to walk again, my alphabet, how to feed myself…she was with me in therapy every day plus she worked. I still don’t know how she did it, but the doctors told her that I would never walk or talk again, and here this old woman is 25 years later still slowly moving along.

In the car coming home I grabbed Missy’s hand, I kissed it and she looked at me with a tear running down her cheek, it reminded me of about a year or so ago we were in line at Chick-fil-A and Missy kept looking in her rearview mirror.   Read more…

Apparently I always wanted to be a nurse.

I got home from work last night and on my counter was a book, “All About Me,” my mother had sent in the mail. It was one of those kindergarden through 12th grade books (including pictures and comments!) about friends and aspirations, grades and boyfriends.

My husband was dying to flip through it with me (he had already looked at it!) and laugh at my ongoing short bobbed haircut that had a few layering variations, and comment on the outfits I chose to wear for the first day back to school. I had to laugh as well as we looked at them. I always thought I looked so cute! I will never make fun of the photos of him wearing his orange Toughskins again! (O.K., so I probably will.) I enjoyed looking at the book and remembering some old times, and some outfits I really thought were awesome!

But what I noticed most was the running theme, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” Since Kindergarden I either wanted to be a nurse or a teacher. Nurse won out with the most votes of 7.

(At this stage in my life I want to be an educated nurse! Read more…