Its OK to Go
My mom sleeps…about 22 hours a day now…she is up for maybe 20 minutes at a time….I miss her and shes still here with me…..I miss her real loud laugh, her giggles, her smile…..I miss hearing her talk, her voice calling my name….her voice now is low….its not what I’m used to my mom sounding like….I miss our talks, her holding my hand, her just being in the next room…its not the same now…
She’s still here, but just holding on….I wonder what to….I tell her to let go, go be with daddy…dance, twirl….but she smiles and holds on…I tell her I will be OK, and that she can go….but she smiles and holds on…I think shes waiting for June…she always told me she wanted to die in June…that it was such a beautiful month…and some of her best memories are of June…..she asked me last week what month it was….I told her the last week of May….I think she is waiting for June…..but I don’t know if I can tell her that it is here…
Mom is getting weaker by the day, she is not eating now….she only is sipping a little liquid…she doesn’t open her eyes any longer and sleeps about 23 hours a day. She seems to be very comfortable and is holding tight to her whoopie [pillow]….I play her music for her all day, and have her TV on so she can hear her programs…I talk to her, and read her all the posts of her buddies on Facebook…people have been wonderful with their prayers…my hope is that your prayers are for her to have peace, and know its OK to go be with those she loves who have already gone….I hope you are praying that she knows I will be OK, and it is OK to go…..
