Image credit: Cheryl Empey

I have a special box with little things in it…things like menus of restaurants that my friends and I went to, or matchbook covers from a bar that we had a good time in. I have books, and just a box full of trinkets that make me smile…a chipped tea cup from my grandmothers house, an old favorite earring of my mothers, silly things, but things that have a story. I told Missy that I wanted to box them up pretty and write down what their story was.

Missy frowned at me and said, “Oh mommy…those are your memories, your special things, they will never mean as much to someone else because they are your memories of your friends and your good times.” I thought about that and thought she was right…who would want my old matchbook covers or little handkerchiefs? It’s really not the item, it’s all the memories that go along with it.

That’s why I hate Alzheimer’s…its a disease that makes a person just a being…when you take away their stories, their memories…their joy of remembering….you just have the shell of that person.

I have kinda become like my little box of trinkets…when I forget those stories…they will be like me in the future…just some trinkets, like me a body with no stories, no memories, a stranger will meet me in the future and just see a person with Alzheimer’s.  They wont know my stories. If a stranger found my box of trinkets, they wouldn’t know the love, the fun, the memories in them.

I remember when Missy was little, when her daddy and I would go out I always wore my special earrings. Missy loved those earrings, when I would be getting ready to go out, she would put them on…and then put them on me. I only have one of those earrings left, over the years I lost one. I wrote on a little piece of paper today that I want Missy to have that one earring and reminded her of how she always loved to wear them…I couldn’t wait till Christmas, so I gave it to her today. It made her cry. She loved it and she said, “Okay mommy, you are right…tomorrow, we will start writing out your little stories and attach them to your trinkets. They will make wonderful wonderful Christmas gifts to your special friends and family.”

I thought after that, that all of us should do that. Don’t leave your treasures in a box for your family to find…write on it what each treasure and trinket means to you. I am wondering if my grandson will love the little rock that he gave me when he was 5. It’s just a little rock, but I have kept it for almost 30 years.

Just trinkets, but they all have a story…just like every person with Alzheimer’s, we all have a little story.

Melissa's Mom, Barbara Taylor Vaughan

My mom never ceases to amaze me. Today we spent most of the day at the hospital. She had to have a large cyst removed from her chest area, plus after our fall yesterday, I wanted her to be checked out.

The doctor told me after he finished her procedure that he never had enjoyed a patient more than her. I was so proud of her, she never made a sound, he had to cut her 3 different times, and she only squeezed my hand. He told her she was something else…and she loved every minute of all the attention.

Mom never misses anything, even though she is hard of hearing and blind in one eye, she sees more and hears more than most of us. While we were waiting for her procedure, she heard one of the nurses talking about another nurse being in a bad mood, she said that the nurse had assisted on a patient who they had lost earlier that morning, and was having a bad day.

That nurse was our nurse, she came in and prepped mom and got the tray ready for the doctor, she was very quiet. When she was almost done and standing by mom, mom reached over and patted her arm. The nurse asked mom, “What’s the matter? May I help you with something?” Mom patted her again and said, “Bless your heart, I hope you know how much I appreciate everything you are doing for me.” The nurse looked at mom and a single tear ran down her face as she said thank you and left the room.

When she came back and the doctor was doing mom’s procedure, mom kept talking. I know it was hurting her, but she never cried, or screamed…she was so brave. She just kept talking to the nurse, telling her how she loved nurses, how some of her best friends were nurses, and how they just didn’t get the credit they deserved for all they did.

When the doctor and nurse were done, mom told them thank you. The doctor left and the nurse cleaned up and told mom, “No, thank you. I was having a bad day, and you have cheered me up.” Mom said, “You know what? You and me are a lot alike, I try and make people feel better by telling jokes and laughing. You try and make people better by being a great nurse. But some days, people don’t get my jokes, or think I am a silly old woman. And on some days, you cannot heal the world no matter how hard you try…but tomorrow is another day.”

An aide came to wheel mom out to the car, and her nurse told her she would take her new friend out…when I pulled the car around and put mom in the car the nurse hugged mom and told me how lucky I was. As I was driving home mom said, “That was fun.” I laughed and said, “Mom you just got your chest cut open! She said, “No, that was fun making a new friend, and making someone feel better.” She said, “I went to the hospital to get helped, and I helped somebody.” And she just smiled all the way home.