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You know, my grandma didn’t believe in drugs. She believed in nuts. She used almonds for everything. She would slip them into everything she fed us just to be sure they did their job. We found them in salads, desserts, candy, and even our underwear. She said they got rid of warts.

I grew up during the depression. And, we spent the little money we had on food, not beauty products. When we saw a wrinkle in the mirror, we just gave up hope. But not my grandma. She made a paste of milk, almonds and rosebuds and smeared it on her face every night. She looked looked like the ghost of the apocalypse but she smelled like Almond Roca. And my grandpa loved sweets.

She had 18 children, not counting the 4 miscarriages and she wasn’t even Catholic. She wasn’t very careful either.

When grandpa lost his hair, she made a paste of gooseberry juice and almond oil. It made his scalp soft as a baby’s bottom. I think that’s why he wore a diaper on his head. He said it was to protect him from a chill. I guess you had to be there.

My aunt Hazel had teenage anemia and my grandma fed her almonds to build her up. Read more…

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In my day, safety was your responsibility. We didn’t have laws to take care of us. No seat belts or warning beeps. Either you held on, or you went through the windshield. But that was easier too, because we didn’t have double-paned glass.

When I was a kid, I could jump on my bike without worrying about helmets or shin guards. If I fell off, mama put an ice pack on my head and told me to stop complaining.

We didn’t bother with little lights on our shoes either, when we walked around at night. If someone jumped out of the bushes you just nodded and looked the other way because he was probably going to the bathroom. It was always a he. Trust me on that one.

I never thought of using mace or pepper spray to protect us. If someone scared us, we screamed and there was always a neighbor with a loaded gun. In my day, neighbors really did take care of each other. We used to give strangers at the bus stop rides and sometimes we even invited them over for dinner. But they had to eat what we gave ‘em. One guy said he was a vegan and my mother put on a mask. Read more…