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And Then There’s the Money
Today Missy and I went to look at a new nursing facility. It is close to our home. Missy has so many medical bills and she hasn’t worked for the last few years because she is taking care of me. We would of been OK but Missy’s MS drugs are over 3500.00 a month, her insurance will not pay because they are considered preventive, so for 3 years she has paid for them. Then when her insurance denied her surgeries because of the cancer clause. We were up a creek.
I am going to have to move to a nursing facility, not real soon, but soon. The place was nice, all the people were nice and smiled at me. Afterward, we went to McDonald’s and took our lunch to the river. We sat in the car and watched the barges go by. I started crying, and told Missy, “Don’t make me go yet. I will be good, I can stay by myself all day till you get home. I will be OK.”
I told her I was scared to go there and be with strangers, that it wasn’t time yet, I was still me. Missy started crying and told me that I didn’t have to go yet, that she would work something out, that she never wants me to be scared. She told me that if she had to sell her car, and all the furniture in the house that I didn’t have to go yet…that she would work something out. I believe her, she told me that I was the most important thing in their lives.
Missy reminded me today when she was little, I had to work so much, my husband worked out of town most of the time so my mother cared for her. When my mother would go on a trip I would take Missy to my mother-in-law’s house in Illinois. Missy hated it there. She remembered me taking her there one summer and her crying telling me she didn’t want to go, that she could stay by herself till I got home from work, that she would be good. I remember crying with her and telling her we will work it out, don’t cry. I turned the car around and we came home…we worked it out. She kept telling me all the way home today,
We will work it out, don’t cry Mommy. We will work it out…I promise.
___________________________________About the Author: Barbara Taylor Vaughan is 90 and in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's. She started a Facebook page to help chronicle her illness and put a face on Alzheimer's. Barbara hopes educating others will inspire them to volunteer to help ease the suffering of those with the disease, families, caregivers. Her relationship with her daughter and caregiver, Missy, and her compassion and humor are inspirational. You can subscribe to her on Facebook where she has opened her page to offering advice to your questions about life and living with Alzheimer's "from a little old lady."
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More from A Patient’s Perspective
Alzheimer’s in the First Person
Barbara Taylor Vaughan is 90 and in the early stages of Alzheimer's. Barbara and Melissa Vaughan are putting a face on the disease by chronicling Barbara's illness. Melissa, living with Multiple Sclerosis, is Barbara's daughter and caregiver.
They hope educating others will inspire them to volunteer to help ease the suffering of those with the disease, thier families and caregivers. Barbara and Melissa's relationship, compassion and humor are inspirational.
We love them and thank them for their humanity and generosity of spirit.
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