Well, buddies I am home and it has not been a good night and day. My visiting nurse is typing this for me, I am back in bed right now, getting ready to take a nap. I had an Alzheimer’s afternoon and night. I just wasn’t myself. Today I passed out again, just for a few minutes, but enough to make Missy cry. I came to and wondered what had happened, but I did remember Missy telling me she loved me when I was coming back.

Buddies, I think that us old folks ready ourselves for death. I think we tell ourselves that we don’t want to hurt our family. We don’t want to live with no memories and we don’t want to be a burden. I told Missy I think if she would give me her permission, and after I see my new great grandchild, that I might be ready to start that journey home. I have decided I don’t think I am brave enough to handle Alzheimer’s the way I wanted to, and I don’t want Missy to have any pain. Sometimes when you love so much you know when its time to just go home…to your final home…

And as happy as I am here with her and Mike, I don’t want Alzheimer’s to take me. Read more…

Editor’s note: [Posts by Melissa and Barbara are not always published in real time. Many of their posts offer timeless wisdom. But sometimes, they are time critical---you want to know they are o.k.! You can get the latest by visiting Barbara's Facebook page]

Thursday, July 5, 2012

I am Barbie’s daughter, Melissa. She wanted me to write to all of her Facebook buddies and tell them that she is in the hospital. She is OK, but the doctors are running some tests. She had another passing out episode early this morning. I just now came home from the hospital—we went in at 5am. She already has taken over the hospital and made many new friends. She told me to come home tonight and get some sleep that she wants to see if she can be by herself one night.

You don’t know how hard it was for me to leave her there tonight. The nurses told me if she gets scared or confused they will call me and I can be there in 10 minutes. She was trying to be so brave. When I was leaving she hugged me and said, “I never ever want to let go of you when I hug you.” She told me to go home and get some sleep. Read more…