In My Day We Didn’t Go to Google for Answers | Lynn Ruth Miller

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In My Day, we didn't have Google, we had Mother

In my day, we didn’t go to Google for answers, we asked our mother and she always knew the answer. Even if she didn’t. If I wanted to know how to get to  Norma Odeski’s house, my mother would say “Ya walk.” I would say “But where is it?” and she’d say “For God sake, Lynn Ruth, follow your nose.” And then I’d know Norma’s house was just around the corner.

If I wanted to know what the weather was going to be that afternoon, Mother would open the window, rub her shoulder and say, “It’s gonna rain, take an umbrella.” If it didn’t rain, I’d say “What happened?” and my mother would say “I took an aspirin.”  When I had a funny looking bruise, I’d show it to my mother and she would say, “Who have you been kissing?” and I’d say “How did ya know?”

My mother insisted she read all the answers she needed on my forehead. I came home from school one day with chocolate smeared on my face and said, “I have a stomach ache!”. My mother said “You never should’ve eaten that second slice of fudge cake.” and I said, “How did ya know I did that?”  She said, “I read it on your forehead.” and I said “Did it tell you I brought home another slice for you?” and my mother said “Don’t you get smart with me Lynn Ruth! Where is it?” I guess you had to be there.

When I ask my mother, “Why did Dale spit at me?” She said “It’s because he’s a nasty boy!” And I said “What made him nasty?” and she said “Ha! Ask your father!”

When I asked my mom how to spell onomatopoeia, she said “Can you hold it til after dinner?” and I said “I need to know now, I’m writing a paper about it.” And she said “That’ll teach you to drink all that Coca-Cola!’ I never did figure out how to spell onomatopoeia.

My mother had an answer for everything but why she was in a bad mood. I’d say, “Why are you screaming?” And she’d say, “Ask your father!” And I’d say, “Why? Did he spit?”

And this is Lynn Ruth Miller with another addition of “In my day…” Google me, baby!